


Alone And Lonely: A Study In Human Emotion

by oliviawrites (LauraLittlemiss)



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M, married at first sight, strangers to husbands
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-20
Updated: 2017-07-20
Packaged: 2018-12-04 16:36:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11559168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LauraLittlemiss/pseuds/oliviawrites
Summary: "There's a difference between alone and lonely.""Well, which one are you?""I don't know.""Let's get married.""Excuse me?""There's a chapel down the road, let's go."Or the one where Dan and Phil get married on a whim after just meeting.





	Alone And Lonely: A Study In Human Emotion

It was a rainy, drizzly day in London, England. Tourists were braving the rain to see more of the beautiful city that they were vacationing in, whereas natives simply stayed in their homes on the drab Sunday. Phil Lester had decided to go out in the storm anyways - it really wasn't that bad. It was just sprinkling. Well, sprinkling heavily would be a better way to put it.

Phil had simply been sitting in a cafe - an overcrowded cafe - when a man who he had never met before plopped down in the chair opposite him.

"Excuse you?" Phil had said, not caring that he was being blatantly rude. 

"Ah, yes, excuse me," The man said. He pushed some of his curly brown hair out of his eyes, showing more of his matching eyes. Placing his drink down on the table, he extended his hand like he expected Phil to shake it or something. "Name's Dan, well, it's actually Daniel, you can only call me that if I'm in trouble, though. You're table is the last available seat in this whole damn place." 

"Well, why don't you go and stand somewhere? Isn't it kind of rude to sit at someone's table without even asking?" Phil huffed. "What would you have if I was saving that seat for someone?"

"I knew you weren't saving this seat for anyone!" The man, Dan, exclaimed. 

"How?" Phil had asked, half annoyed and half curious. 

"You look like the kind of guy who doesn't have any friends to sit with on a Sunday morning in a cafe." 

"Well, that's rude! You have no place to say that, this is my table after all." Phil shrieked. 

"That doesn't stop you from being rude when you sit in a random person's chair!" 

"Honey," He had said, his voice all of sudden thick and as sweet as butter, practically dripping with entitlement. "When you're as pretty as me, you can sit wherever you want."

"That's incredibly dehumanizing and ignorant of you." Phil said factually.

This man was pressing all of Phil's buttons. Who the hell did he think he was? "Okay, I get the ignorant part, but the dehumanizing part I don't really understand-"

"Get out of my chair!" Phil nearly yelled, gripping his coffee tightly in his hand. This trip to the cafe was supposed to relaxing for him, not more stressful! He was a author for heaven's sake! He needed to calm down! How was he supposed to focus on his work when a crazy man is being a jerk?

"Actually, this isn't your chair, it's the restaurant's-" Phil cut him off yet again. 

"I don't care who owns the chair, get the hell out of it!" Phil couldn't remember a time he was so riled up. However, Dan didn't seem to share the same passion as Phil did. Something that was making Phil even more mad. Dan just sat calmly in the chair (not his chair, the chair) and even started to sip at his coffee. He didn't respond to Phil's last request for two minutes. 

"You look lonely." Dan said, catching Phil off guard. 

"There's a difference between alone and lonely." Phil retorted, glaring at Dan. He was not lonely. 

"Well, which one are you?" Dan took another sip of coffee. Phil was becoming more interested in whoever this insane man was. 

"I don't know." Phil said, shocked at how sad his voice sounded compared to the angry, ranting, aggravated tone it had not even five minutes ago. 

"Let's get married." Dan said. Phil had to cough multiple times to make sure he didn't choke on the sip of coffee he had just taken before Dan had said something so stupid and crazy.

 

"Excuse me?" Phil muttered.

 

"There's a chapel down the road, let's go. Take a risk for once in your life." Dan stood up, extending his arm towards Phil. For some reason, Phil took his hand. He could already feel his palms sweating. What was he doing? Why was he agreeing to go some place with this man, this crazy, lunatic man? He could kill him! Phil adjusted the glasses on his face. There was no way that he was getting married today. Then why was he holding Dan's hand?

Dan led them out of the cafe and down the busy street of busy London - the city where Phil had lived for the past two years of his life. He fit well with the city. At least, he felt like he did. It had captured his heart on a school field trip years ago. Two years ago, he had made the decision to move here. It had probably been the best choice he's made so far, obvious by the fact he was blindly following Dan as he led them to different corners that Phil half-knew. Why hadn't he run yet? His coffee was still warm and drinkable. 

"We aren't actually getting married, right?" 

"Are you kidding? Of course we are." 

"Are you kidding?" Phil retorted. "No, we aren't. There's no way that you - a complete stranger - is going to marry me, a complete stranger. Nobody does that." 

"Plenty of drunk people do this daily." Dan said, still pulling Phil towards this church that he knew. 

"That's not a good enough reason to do something, I pray you know and realize that." Dan only shrugged. Phil groaned. 

"I'm not marrying you sober." Phil said this in the hope that Dan would stop. He didn't.

"Might as well get you drunk then. I know this good bar that's open 24/7, shall we go?" Phil stared at him, bewildered. He was serious?

"You don't even know my name!" Phil exclaimed, throwing the one hand that wasn't attached to Dan's up in the air. 

"What's your name then?" Dan asked. 

"Phil." He replied, questioning his sanity with every step they took. 

"Let's go Phil, I'd like to get you drunk before 5 p.m. I'm thinking about Nando's for our first dinner as a married couple?" 

"Nando's? Are you insane?" Phil pretended to be outraged. He might as well go along with this abnormal idea that this abnormal man had thought. "I would expect you to have more respect for our first meal together." Dan laughed, pulling him closer to his side. Phil was surprised but went along with it. Why not? 

*

The bar that Dan brought Phil to was not what he expected. It looked just like a bar would - even though it was ten in the morning. Colored lights were projected everywhere, draping the walls in ever-changing prisms of light. The bar was definitely less crowded than normal - thank God for that. Phil would seriously worry for the people of this city if the bar was at a normal capacity for the weekend. "How do you even know about this place?" 

"I work here."

"Here?" Phil questioned skeptically, raising an eyebrow. 

"Yeah, why not?" Dan responded, copying Phil and quirking an eyebrow as well. 

"Is that your only job?" 

"Nah, I actually write books. This is just another source of income for me." 

"I'm an author too!" Phil exclaimed, glad to have found some common ground with Dan. 

"Wait, really?" Dan looked at him like he might be lying or something. "What genre?"

"Sc-fi, fantasy, with a side of romance," Phil listed the top three he commonly wrote in and explored. "You?"

"I write about romance. Because I write about romance I automatically write about sex, too."

Phil laughed. He really laughed. He didn't know why he laughed so hard, but the way that Dan had said it was hilarious to Phil. Maybe it was the weight of what he was getting himself into dawning on him. That was definitely it. "So, are you experienced with either of the subjects you write?" 

"I mean, pretty experienced, if I do say so myself." 

"Well, I'll have to find out for myself then." Phil coyly said, closely watching Dan's face as he did. To his satisfaction, Dan just nods, smirking slightly, and leads him to the bar. 

"Louise!" A blonde woman walks out with a impressed look on her face. 

"Daniel, we've been over this, you cannot just walk in here and-" 

"Louise, look, I brought my fiance!" Dan shoved Phil towards the bar that Louise was standing behind. A look of surprise overcame her face, and Phil considered that relatable. He too was surprised that Dan brought him to this place and was introducing him to his co-worker, and probably, friend. "I need to get him drunk."

"Why does he need to get you drunk at ten thirty on a Sunday morning?" She asked him, giving him a look over before a horrified expression came over her face. "You aren't trying to get him into a church, right? I tried that once, don't do it. For the love of God, do not do it." 

Phil laughed, listening to the way Dan's laugh blended in with his. "No, I am not trying to get him to go to church," Phil assured after he stopped laughing. "It's actually the other way around. He's trying to get me to a church." 

"Him? In a church?" She turned to Dan, her ponytail swaying in the air with her movements. "Why are you trying to get him in a church? And him in a church - drunk? No one goes to church drunk, that's probably a sin or something."

Phil laughed again as Dan explained. "Well, he said we can't get married unless he's drunk. So, here we are."

 

Louise laughed. "Why haven't I met him before, Dan? Were you hiding him from me? That's rude." She moved to pull two glasses down from above the bar. Dan pushed him gently towards the bar, pulling out a seat from him and pushing him in once he was seated. 

"Funny story, me and Phil just met about an hour ago." Dan said, not meeting Louise's eyes.

"What!" Louise cried. "Dan Howell, are you insane?" 

"Your last name is Howell?" Phil questioned. Dan gave a brief nod and smile to him before turning back to address Louise. "Hm." He wasn't totally opposed to that as a last name. Or even a hyphenated version of their last names. 

"I decided to start taking risks in life," Dan explained. "Why not?"

"Are you sure this is the right type of risk? Marriage is a big deal," Louise reasoned. "Look how things ended between Matt and me. Now we have to share Darcy, it's a big hassle sometimes." 

"No offense, but it would be pretty impressive if I managed to get him pregnant," Dan said, clearly not taking anything seriously. "Don't worry though, I'm sure we'll be fine." Louise rolled her eyes and handed them their drinks.

"Clearly, I am not in control of either of you," Louise placed one of her hands on her hip, the other brushing against her brow and pushing some of her stray hair back. "Especially you, Howell. I'll simply have to wish you the best of luck. So, in that case, I wish you both the best marriage that could possibly come out of this arrangement." Dan smiled and gave her a over-the-counter hug, Phil just settled for smiling at her in silent thanks. He still wasn't quite sure what was going through his head. He figured that if both him and Dan put in a equal amount of work, they might have a shot of things working out. And if not? Their story would make an excellent novel. Maybe they could even do a collaboration to tell the story from both of their opposing sides. It would probably sell really well, his agent would freak.

"I still need to get drunk before I marry you," Phil reminded him. "And I expect you to be at least a little tipsy. So drink up." He and Dan toasted and then gulped their drinks. What on earth was he going to tell his mother?

*

Phil and Dan left the bar at 12:30 after being there for around two hours. Phil could be considered drunk and Dan was definitely "tipsy." They decided to head to the church after going for a walk in the local park. Phil didn't want to be so far gone in the wedding photos that the marriage looked like a drunken mistake instead of just a regular mistake. Dan and Phil held hands during most of their walk. Dan learned that Phil loved looking at (and pointing out) all the wildlife that scampered along the ground and swam in the pond. He loved to find birds nestled in the trees. His face would soften considerably and he would let out a soft "Aw," as he watched the momma bird feed the baby birds. Phil even took a picture, claiming that it was too cute not to. Throughout the entire time that Dan spent watching Phil, he was never once bored. In fact, all Dan could was remember was being fond of Phil and watching with a smile on his face. Fond. That was weird. He had only just met Phil, why was he practically fawning over him and baby birds. Dan mentally shrugged and instead focused on what they were doing now. Phil was suggesting that they buy something from the food venders before walking to the church. Dan considered it a great idea. 

"Do you prefer tacos or pretzels?" Phil asked as they surveyed their choices of food. 

"Tacos, duh," Dan said without a second thought. "That is unless you enjoy pretzels more, of course. If you do, I absolutely love pretzels and prefer them highly over tacos." Dan added after realizing how rude that probably sounded of him. He didn't want to seem ignorant towards Phil. That was the last thing he wanted to do, actually. Thankfully Phil only laughed at his declaration. 

"For the record," Phil said after he had finished laughing. "Tacos are loads better than pretzels." Dan breathed a sigh of relief before ushering them into the line for tacos. They ordered a few each, as they were both properly starving. Phil wasn't as drunk as he was before - he was more tipsy now - so Dan suggested that they head over to the church. Phil agreed.

Dan had take to a moment to assess what he was doing. He was about to walk to a chapel with a man he had just met and get married. Had they even talked about where they were going to live after? Nope. "Hey, Phil," Dan said, grasping his hand again. Phil turned towards Dan. Dan pulled them over to the front of a shop so he could get out of the way for other people walking on the sidewalk. "We know almost nothing about each other." Phil nodded, processing the thought. 

"You're right, we shouldn't do this," Phil said. "But, I still want to get to know you. Plus, we aren't taking a risk anymore. What happened to 'living life' and shit?"

Dan thought. He still wanted to take the risk. "How about we get married and in a month we can chose to stay married or get divorced?" Dan suggested. "You know that show 'Married At First Sight?' We can be like that, just without being filmed. And a expensive honeymoon, I'm almost broke." Phil considered this and then nodded. 

"Whose apartment are we living at?" Phil asked, starting to walk again and pulling Dan with him. "I was thinking that we could scope out each other's apartments before dinner and then make the decision while we're eating, which will not be Nando's." Dan laughed. 

"That sounds perfect. We're almost there." Dan said, noticing the sign for elopement chapel. Phil squeezed his hand. Dan squeezed back. The church was in view for them. It was a small building that was various shades of brown. Dan was only slightly terrified. But he wasn't going to back out. He refused to.  

Him and Phil finally arrived outside of the little church for eloping couples. That describes them perfectly. 

He pushed the door open, Phil on his trail as he walked into the musty building. It was small and dim, cozy in a way that would have to grow on you before you considered it warm. Dan liked those types of places best. He would always have to come back again and again until the place made him feel warm whenever he was in it, get used to it over time. He was that way with music to, he never liked a song after listening to it one time. He had to listen to it at least five times and know half the words before he could consider liking the song. Dan looked over to Phil, noticing how he too was looking around and admiring the decorations. 

Dan wasn't big on churches. He was raised religiously but didn't continue going to church after he moved away from home. In fact, he wasn't sure if they really was a God or not. He didn't really care. Churches reminded him of sitting in stiff button-downs on the front pew while his mother or grandmother told him to try his hardest to stay still. The buildings filled with crosses and old men and sickly sweet ladies never failed to remind him of the familiar feeling of guilt. Of the boy who sung in choir, the one with blue eyes and dark brown hair that turned lighter in the summer and darker in the winter. He didn't like churches because they were the root of what made his mom disown him when he came out to her. He hadn't seen her since. Dan turned to find Phil, he hadn't seen him in his peripheral vision in a while. 

Phil seemed to distract him from the pool of thoughts that never seemed to end in his head. He looked so beautiful in the light. Dan was extremely glad that his half-asleep self had decided to sit at his table instead of leaving. Phil's face was turned to an old painting of the Virgin Mary, meaning Dan had a excellent view of his profile. The sun coming in from the window by the painting was streaming in on Phil's side, perfectly highlighting part of his face. It made him look as if he was glowing. Dan wouldn't be surprised if Phil someday glowed. If anyone had a good enough personality to glow, it would be Phil. 

Dan walked over to where Phil was standing, resting his head on Phil's shoulder. They may have just met, but Dan figured that because they were technically engaged, it would be okay for him to rest his head on his shoulder. They both continued to look at the painting. It was memorizing. The bumps left in the dried paint from the strokes of the brush seemed to form a road all over the design. Dan's eyes traced them all around in the swirling pattern. Why were they so fixated with a painting of a woman holding a baby, both draped in old pieces of cloth?

Phil let his head rest on top of his fiance's head, which was resting on his shoulder. Dan let out of a hum of content. Soon, they were broken out of their trance-like state when a cough came from the other side of the room. Phil and Dan stepped apart from each other as they turned to face a older plump man. The man had a balding head with white hair on the sides of his head, looking to be in his mid-fifties. He was wearing what normal pastors wear -- a black button down of some kind with black dress pants and black dress shoes. If it wasn't for the religious part, Dan would fit right in with the color scheme. "Hello," The man, clearly addressing them. "I'm Pastor Norris, what can I help you with?" 

"We want to get married." The man didn't seem too fazed. He simply gestured for them to follow him to a room. He sat down behind the large desk, clearly meaning for them to sit down as well. The pastor started shuffling around for something. Dan and Phil sat awkwardly, sending each other glances. Phil started to laugh a little after a few minutes of sitting still while the man tried to find something. Dan quickly sent him a look that meant "shush!" Phil clamped a hand over his mouth, trying to stifle his giggles. The Pastor finally found whatever he was looking for and placed a paper in front of them. "It's a marriage certificate. Once you sign it, we can get started with the ceremony." They nodded. Dan took a deep breath when Phil handed the pen to him after signing. This was it, he was doing it. He carefully took the pen in his hand and signed on the dotted line. It was officially signed by both of them. Now they just had to say "I do." The thought sent chills down Dan's back. 

"Looks good," Pastor Norris took the paper and put it in a frame after signing it himself. "Now if you'll just follow me out here, we can start the ceremony." 

Phil and Dan stood, following the minister as he led to the worship auditorium. Dan gaped in awe. He knew that churches in London were known for being exceptionally beautiful, but he didn't realize how breath-taking they really are. Every window was a stained glass window, all the windows lined up told the story of Jesus' life on Earth. At the front of the church was a stained window in the form of a cross. The pews stood in a wide berth to draw attention to the windows. Prayer rooms were lined up along the right side of the church, one equipped with a fountain. Dan didn't realize how much he had missed the feeling of standing in a nearly empty church. Maybe the presence of God was an actual thing. 

"So, shall we?" The pastor turned to them. 

"Sure, let's do this." Phil spoke up. Dan simply nodded. This was going to be something. 

"Is one of us going to walk down the aisle or should we just skip that part?" Dan asked. He suddenly realized how unconventional this wedding truly was. Neither of their families were present, in fact, they didn't have a clue that this was happening. Sure, two guys getting married is still a little non-traditional, but not having their families there or even planning it out? Now, that was considered non-traditional. Dan couldn't really find it in him to regret that decision though. He was living life and he chose to do it like this. His mom would probably forgive him. 

The wedding march started playing in the background. Dan liked this. It kind of seemed like there were in a epic movie where they were spies about to get married in the middle of the movie before they go on a super-awesome-mission where they blow up multiple bad guy headquarters. Or something like that. He mentally face-palmed as he realized how has thoughts had gotten away from the present. He was getting married for heaven's sake. 

So what? Dan had an over-reactive imagination sometimes. Not his fault. It fits his aesthetic perfectly. Dan smiled slightly as the pastor beginning to start the ceremony. Phil caught his eye and smiled softly. Dan could feel his heart beginning to melt.. He squeezed Phil's hands tightly. Their hands were tightly entwined at the request of the pastor. 

"Do you, Philip Lester, take this man, Dan Howell, to be your lawfully wedded husband in sickness and health, till death do you part?" 

"I do," Phil said, smiling. Now it was Dan's turn.

"Do you, Dan Howell, take this man, Philip Lester, to be your lawfully wedded husband in sickness and health, till death do you part?" 

"I do," Dan said, meaning every word of the vow. 

*

"We actually did that!" Phil hollered as they exited the church into the busy London street. "I just can't believe we forgot to buy rings." Dan laughed loudly, giddy on happiness and adrenaline. 

"Let's go buy our rings!" Dan proposed, technically for the second time that day. He tried to remember a jewelry store anywhere near them. "I think that's there a store on the street over, should we try there?" Phil readily agreed, grasping Dan's hand and snuggled into his side. Dan loved it. 

They arrived at the shop minutes later. Dan held the door open for Phil, successfully making him blush. Dan laughed and snaked his arm around Phil's waist as the walked up to the display case. Rings glittered in the spotlights focused on them. Personally, Dan wanted something simply. He was a flashy guy but not with his accessories, which a ring technically was. He had no idea where Phil stood when it came to rings. He was definitely willing to compromise. He didn't care so much about what the ring looked like but more about how Phil felt about it. He really wanted to have matching rings. What was the point in having wedding rings if they match? Okay, a lot of points still existed for them to have rings, but matching rings were just cooler.

Dan looked at Phil, he was studying a group of rings that Dan would totally wear. Dan pointed out a ring he liked. It was a simple silver band. And Dan liked that. It stated the fact that he was married (he was married!) and that was it. It didn't flash the fact, just stated it. 

Phil looked at the ring. He didn't make a face, but Dan could tell he didn't like it. Dan looked at one of the rings that Phil was looking at before Dan ruined concretion. The bands were still simple enough, Dan could deal with one of those. He silently pointed to his favorite, knowing that Phil would follow his finger. He watched as Phil evaluated the ring. He looked up at Dan and smiled, nodding his head. Dan smiled back and leaned in to give him a gentle peck on the cheek. Dan found a sales attendant and requested to size the ring and then purchase it. The attendant promised him that she would be back, leaving Phil and Dan alone. 

"I still can't believe that we actually did that," Phil said, sounding a little breathless. "I don't regret it, I'm just surprised that we didn't back out, you know?" Dan nodded, wrapping an arm around Phil's waist and drawing him closer. Dan liked that he was only slightly taller than Phil. It was something unique considering how tall Dan is. All of his exes had always been a head or so shorter than him. It didn't bother him loads, but it was nice to finally have someone that was his height. It made him look less awkward as a person, something that desperately needed. Dan was incredibly social awkward except for the rare times that his brain decided he was going be confident, that had happened this morning. The salesperson came back with the rings in their requested sizes. They both slipped the rings onto their appropriate fingers. Dan immediately knew that this was the ring he wanted. He took one look at Phil's face and knew that he agreed. 

"We'll take them." Dan said. 

*  
Phil decided he wanted to show Dan his apartment. His thumb was already subconsciously running over the ring on his finger, something he just took notice of. He pulled on Dan's hand, leading him down the narrow London street that lead to his apartment. The street was almost always crowded. The crisp air blew past them as they made their way to his building, ruffling their hair and pushing their jackets slightly open. Phil shivered in response, tightening his ungloved grip on Dan's hand. 

They quickly made it into the building, huddling in the lobby for a few seconds to regain some of their lost warmth. Once they were warmer, Dan opened the door to the main building and gestured for him to walk through. Phil was glad that if all the people to spontaneously get married to, he picked one that was sweet and opened doors for him. It was something that made him swoon. 

Phil walked over to where the elevators were located, pressing the 'up' button. Dan followed him, resting his head on Phil's shoulder. He was so tired of a sudden. He guessed it was deserved, he did get married today. The overall shock of doing something so reckless clearly take a toll on him. He let his head loll to the side and relax against Dan's. He sighed sleepily as they waited for the elevator to ding. One of Dan's arms came to wrap around his midsection - something Phil realized he really liked. Too soon the elevator dinged and they stepped inside.

They stayed silent as the little box ascended. Their ride was cut short when the doors opened again and someone else got on. Phil gulped as he realized who it was - his mom's best friend. "Oh, Phil!" He smiled politely when she addressed him. "It's been so long since I've seen you! Who is this young gentleman?" She must've noticed how close they were standing, close enough that they probably knew each other. Complete strangers didn't stand that close. Him and Dan were only half strangers. 

"Oh, uh, this is Dan. He's my, uh, husband." Dan gave a slight wave as the air in the elevator became tense. 

"Oh, I had no idea you were married - or 'swung that way.'" She commented, her smile becoming forced. 

"Not many do." Phil summed up, also forcing his smile. One glance at Dan confirmed that everyone was faking their smiles. Phil could literally feel the tension between the three of them.

Finally, the doors opened with a chime. "Well, this is my stop, lovely seeing you Mrs. Stanford!" He reached for Dan's hand and they made their hasty escape. Phil was trying hard not to laugh at the exchange, and by the sound of it, Dan too. Phil patted his pockets for his key, finding it and unlocking the door. 

When Dan walked into Phil's apartment he was very impressed. The layout was clearly an open one - the kitchen lead into the living room and then into a hall way where two bedroom doors could be seen. And it was all so clean. Because Dan was a clean freak at the best of times, he cared about these things. Sure, a few things could be dusted or organized better but other than that, it was pretty good. Better than Dan expected. "Your apartment meets all my requirements. You can still see mine if you want but I think this will work better. More space." Dan said, walking over to where Phil was standing in the kitchen, watching him. He liked that Phil was watching him. He liked that a lot. 

As Dan walked closer to Phil, he started smiling. Phil returned the smile, grabbing onto his arm and pulling Dan closer to him. Dan ended up leaning against Phil's side and he found himself wondering why he was so affectionate and comfortable with Phil, who was a complete stranger. Dan had never been a person that snuggled up with complete strangers. Every now and then he would have sex with a stranger and end up kind of cuddling them at night, but that was it. He had barely kissed Phil, why was he acting like a middle-schooler who just got a boyfriend for the first time? Dan tried to shove the thoughts out of his brain and focus on the present - Phil - as he was talking. "- we might as well go to your apartment and pick up some of your stuff. I could see your place then and then we could decide where to stay for the month." Dan nodded, pulling away from him and looking around his flat for the last time before they headed out. Phil made his way to the door, taking Dan's coat off the rack and handing it to him. 

"You know, a true gentleman would help me put my jacket back on." Dan commented, putting his arms in the sleeves as Phil did the same. 

"Guess you married the wrong guy then." Phil said, a smile on his lips as he went against his word and helped Dan shrug on his jacket. Of course he could put his own jacket on, he just liked the closeness that came with it. Dan smiled back, "Yeah, I guess I did." Phil also held the door open for him.

*

"And here it is," Dan commented, opening the door to where he lived. "Home sweet home." Phil followed him in, taking his coat off and laying it on one of the table's chairs. 

"How - no why - is it so clean?" Was the first thing out of Phil's mouth. 

"OCD," Dan explained bashfully. "I have to check that everything is off and that everything is in its place. It's annoying, but it's something that I live with. Sorry that I didn't tell you before we signed the contract and got married, I should've told you what you were getting into." Dan sighed. 

"Dan, this is just a part of you, I don't consider it something that I should've known after meeting you. You aren't a damaged product or anything, you're a human. I will still grow to love you regardless of you're mental state." By the time Phil finished, Dan was in awe. How on earth did he manage to accidentally marry this man? He found himself wondering the question at least every hour since meeting him, but he was in shock over Phil. He could only felt that Phil felt the same way about him. He kind of needed Phil to feel the same way about him.

"Thank you," Dan whispered to Phil as he properly took in everything that he said. Usually when past boyfriends learned about his OCD they usually either treated him differently or left after a few days, claiming that they just felt it wasn't working out anymore or some other bullshit excuse. Dan had grown used to rejection after reveling his secret. It was almost shocking to find out that Phil didn't considered his mental illness something that made him wrong or sick. "Would you like a tour?" Phil nodded, coming to stand closer to Dan. 

Dan led him throughout his apartment, showing him the small place that he called home. It was a little bit smaller than Phil's was, but it was a good size for Dan. It wasn't like he lived with anyone at the moment. 

"And this is the bedroom," Dan said, pausing in front of his open door-frame. "It's the cleanest room in the house."

"Not for long." Phil uttered. Dan elbowed him in the side, laughing. "Nice try," He added. "We'll see about that later." Dan was sure he was blushing, he had to be in a certain mindset in order to be suggestive and not turn into a tomato whenever someone implied something sexual. He clearly wasn't in the mentality to be openly flirting with Phil about sex. Try again later. 

Dan started to lead him back to his living room, sitting down on his couch and propping his feet on the ottoman positioned right by the couch.  "So, do you still want to move in with me?" Phil asks, sitting down besides him and also placing his feet on the ottoman. Dan simply nodded, closing his eyes. He had had a obviously exhausting day with little to no rest, he just needed to close his eyes for a second. He kind of heard Phil talking in the background, but he wasn't paying attention to what he was saying. 

The next thing Dan knows, he's waking up with a jolt. He immediately sits straight up, trying to figure out where he is. Okay, he's in his living room, he can tell by the TV and couch. But why was he sleeping on the couch? Wasn't he supposed to be staying over at Phil's? Wait, where was Phil? Dan waited for his eyes to adjust to the dark room, night had clearly fallen. When his eyes finally adjusted to the dark room, he found Phil. He was curled up at the end of the sofa, Dan was surprised he didn't feel his legs. Dan studied him in the light of the moon, finally noticing all the little parts of Phil's face. He was really pretty. He had these great cheekbones that Dan hadn't really taken into depth until now. His hair fell right past his eyebrow. His lips were positioned in a pout of sorts, making him look peaceful as he slept. Dan knew differently though. He had fallen asleep in a similar position one too many times before to know what the morning after felt like. Maybe Phil like kinks in his neck and a constant soreness in his lower back, but Dan figured it was better to be safe than sorry. 

He stood up, stretching before taking a hold of Phil's legs and dragging them down to the couch where he had been laying moments before. Phil made a noise in his sleep, something between a groan and a sigh. Dan smiled as he watched Phil shift until he became more comfortable in his newfound space. He figured he should probably get him a blanket. He went to his room and pulled his duvet off his bed. He would be fine with just one of the throw blankets he kept in his room, he didn't know about Phil though. He carried the blanket back to his lounge and preceded to tuck Phil in to the best of his ability. 

Finally content with Phil's sleeping arrangements, Dan yawned and then walked sleepily back to his room, crawling into his bed. He fell asleep again within moments of his head hitting his pillow. 

*

When Phil came to, he was confused. It took him a few minutes to remember that he was in Dan's, his new husband, apartment. He sat up groggily, noticing for the first time that there was a blanket on his chest that was definitely not there the night before. And there was a absence of Dan on the couch. 

He figured that Dan probably woke up at some point during the night and retreated to his room after making sure Phil would be comfortable as could be while sleeping. He was kind of disappointed by the fact. He wanted to at least sleep in the same bed of their first night of marriage. He probably shouldn't have let Dan fall asleep and then follow in his footsteps. 

"Good, you're up. Breakfast?" He jumped at the sudden voice before realizing who it was. He heard a soft chuckle come from behind him. He turned around on the couch, noticing that Dan was standing behind the high counter that separated his kitchen and lounge. "I made eggs."

Phil nodded, yawning and raising his arms above his head. Once he was done, he stood up and walked over to where Dan's table was located. He sat criss-crossed on the chair, yawning once more. Dan brought him a plate full of eggs and bacon. "Thank you," Phil mumbled to Dan, impressed by how good everything looked. He didn't pin Dan as someone who could cook. He shoveled some eggs into his mouth, relishing in how good they tasted. Usually, eggs weren't his favorite. He was just really hungry and Dan makes slightly-better-than-average-eggs. It sounded perfect to his grumbling stomach. In less than 5 minutes, he was all done with his food. Dan simply raised an eyebrow and asked if he wanted more. Phil shook his head. He could only have so much food in the morning. 

Once Dan was done with his food as well Phil offered to wash the dishes. He was met with "You know you don't have to do that," from Dan. He replied to it by saying, "No, I really want to," and after more protest from Dan he finally won. "The only way I'm allowing you to do the dishes is if you wear this apron," Dan said, stepping out of the linen closet with an apron unlike any other apron Phil had ever seen in his entire life. It was just a man's body from the shoulders down, but the man was ripped and only wearing a speedo. 

"Bring it on." Phil dared. Dan just handed over the article of clothing with a look of amusement clear on his face. Phil tied the apron in the back and set to work on cleaning the dishes. "Do you mind if I take a picture of you?" Phil shook his head at Dan's question. They might as well start taking pictures of each other, especially if they planned to be in each other's lives for a while, which Phil completely did. Phil made a lot of silly faces towards Dan's phone, as well as pretending that he didn't see the phone in some. He was always a person that wanted a million different photos of himself in a million different positions if he was having his picture taken. If you take a bunch of photos in a bunch of different ways at least one of them has to come out semi-good. It was just scientific fact. After a minute or so Dan asked him if he could post a picture or two to his twitter. Phil agreed and finished washing up. 

"How does this look?" Dan asked, showing his phone to Phil. It showed two photos of him in the apron, his hands covered in soapy water, washing the dishes. In one of the photos he was pretending to show off his non-existent muscles. In the second one he was simply standing over the sink and seemed very focused on scrubbing the dish clean. He was absorbed by it that his tongue was sticking out at the side of his mouth. He hated when he unconsciously did that but it wasn't like he could make himself quit doing it when he didn't even realize he was doing it. Maybe he could get Dan to tell him when he was doing it so he could work on stopping it. The caption "brainwashed the new guy to do the dishes for me," with a smug emoji. Phil smiled when he read the tweet. He nodded his approval and watched as Dan clicked the tweet button. 

He untied the apron and folded it back up, placing it in the closet that he saw Dan get it from. 

"Everyone's already asking who you are." Dan claimed from his place on the couch. 

"What are you going to tell them?" Phil questioned, walking over to where Dan was situated. He really did prefer his apartment to his own. He felt a bit more at home with Dan at Dan's place instead of his own. 

"I don't know yet," Dan sighed. "I feel like I should at least tell my parents before announcing my impromptu marriage to a man on social media." 

"I should probably do the same," Phil realized. "I already managed to tell my mother's best friend before her, she probably won't appreciate that." 

"Should we spend the morning informing family members?" Dan suggested. "Moral support and all that?" Phil nodded his head, laughing a little a bit. "Who should call who first?" Phil asked, coming to sit by Dan properly on the couch. He sat close enough to him that he could touch him if he wanted to but far enough that it wouldn't seem like he was trying to destroy any concept of personal space between them, something that Phil would never want to purposely do. 

"Can I call my mom first?" Dan asked, chewing on his lips. 

"Of course." Phil said, relaxing into the couch. Dan followed his example, although Phil could clearly see that he was still very nervous. The phone rang for three rings before she picked up.

"Hey mom?" Dan hesitantly asked.

"Yes, Dan? Is something wrong?" She could totally tell that something was up. 

"No, not really. Is dad there? Can you get him and put him on speaker?" 

"Of course," She said reassuringly. After disappearing for a half a minute she came back. "Now, what is it, Dan? I can tell something is going on with you."

"Okay, first of all, I'm not into girls. I know you've assumed that for years but I'm just clearing the air. Second, I got married last night."

"You got married? As in legal-document-married?" She questioned. His dad had yet to say anything.

"Yes," He said, rushing to explain. "I just saw this really good-looking guy yesterday morning and we had a conversation and then I said 'let's get married' and he agreed and now we're married. He's really nice, you would like him." He could've explained that better but he was incredibly nervous. 

"Dan! Is this a prank?" She sounded skeptical, and honestly, Phil would be too.

"No, I promise you, I'm serious. Do you want to talk to him?" His mom and dad gave various mummers of agreement and all of a sudden Phil was put on the spot to say something intelligent. 

"Uh, hi," And he totally failed! Look at him go, failing all over the place! "I'm Phil." Okay, that was slightly better. "You're son is really nice." End him already. Is anyone out there? If anyone is, can you end him? He could literally feel his cheeks heating up. 

"You sound nice as well, Phil. Why did you marry my son?" Okay, interrogation. Phil could understand that. It made sense. 

"Uh, he's cute and he asked? I kind of wanted to take a risk in life and we get along really well." He responded. Being honest. He locked eyes with Dan as he shook his head, a small smile on his lips. Phil gave him a smile in return, nearly shivering at how intimate the exchange seemed. Why was Dan so different from every single person he had ever dated? Why wasn't Phil freaking out over the fact that he actually married a stranger? "Honestly, he's so different from anyone I've ever been interested in. There's just something different about him that I can't place. I think I'm going to fall in love with him." His eyes remained on Dan's the entire time, watching every reaction to his confession. Dan's eyes had softened and then widened dramatically when he confessed that he was pretty sure he was going to fall in love. 

She sighed. "Dan, out of all the strangers that you could have picked, I think you picked a good one. I like him. But, you still made a stupid decision. I hope it doesn't backfire on you. I wish you two the best of luck," She took a deep breath. "Now, if you don't mind, me and your father were in the middle of something."

"Ew, mom!" Dan screamed, face screwing up in disgust. Phil tried not to laugh or aw at how cute Dan looked. "Bye, love you!" He hung up, his parents' laughter being cut off abruptly. 

"Did you really mean that?" Phil's eyes found Dan's. His voice sounded so uncertain that it made Phil's heart ache. Did he not believe that it was possible for somebody to love him? Was that such a strange concept to him? 

"I meant every word," Phil said earnestly. "You're really cute and lovable. I intend to take full advantage of both of those things in the most consensual way possible." 

"What does that even mean?" Dan gave a watery laugh and Phil could see that his eyes were indeed watery. 

"I intend to grow to love you in the best way I can. And to stare at your face as often as possible because damn, have you seen your face? But I will only do those two things with your consent. Do I have it?"

"Yes," Dan said quietly, leaning over towards Phil and closing the small gap between them. "Do I have your consent to inevitably fall head over heels in love with you someday and sometimes think some dirty thoughts about you?" 

Phil's chest vibrated with laughter against Dan's as he pulled him closer into his arms. "You have a hundred percent of my consent," He giggled. "Hey, that rhymed!" 

"Shut up, you dork." His tone of voice suggested that he meant the exact opposite. 

*

Phil's feet were currently resting in Dan's lap as he made the last of the calls to his close family and friends. Phil was still there "for moral support" according to Dan. Phil took pride in knowing that he just wanted him there so that they could hang out. At least he was well-liked by his husband. They had agreed that they would finish calling all of Dan's friends and extended family and then they would call for some take out. Phil had convinced Dan to let him show him his favorite show - Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Dan had agreed to watching an episode while they took a break and ate. Phil counted that as a victory.

Phil was scrolling through twitter and could hear Dan finishing up a conversation with the last person he had to call. He could feel Dan half-massaging one of his feet which consisted of him kind of squeezing his foot and then letting it go. It was kind of funny how he was just subconsciously playing with Phil's feet. He decided to pull out his phone and take a picture, posting it to his twitter account. He knew that a lot of his fans of his books (which he had been neglecting in the past 24 hours, getting married counted as a valid reason to not write) followed his twitter account so he knew there would be the usual questions of "WHO IS THAT" and the likes, but a good portion of his family didn't follow it so he didn't have to worry about them finding out and being shocked. Dan had a plan to respond to some of his twitter followers after he called his family members. Was Phil even following Dan on twitter? He looked him up and quickly found his profile, scanning through the tweets and laughing at a lot of them. He hadn't realized how funny Dan really was. Of course he knew he was a funny person - he had spent a whole day in his presence - but he didn't realize the capacity of Dan's humor. There was a lot of sarcasm about politics but also a lot of stories that had happened to him. 

He stumbled across a tweet that read "just had a girl ask me out and I responded with 'uh, sorry, i'm not into you,' which i followed up with a 'it's not you it's the fact that you're a girl.' i am doomed to be single and forever alone." Phil found himself properly laughing out loud. "What?" Dan asked, amusement in his voice, clearly about to laugh himself. So, Dan was one of those people that laughed even if he didn't even know what the other person was laughing at? That was something that Phil found adorable. He passed his phone to him, watching as his face turned rosy. "I can't believe that you scrolled to five months ago on my twitter," Dan said, laughing a little. "That's a lot of shit to scroll through." Phil shrugged as Dan handed his phone back, blushing a little when he realized that he had went so far back. "You're tweets are interesting," Phil explained. "Plus, I am now married to you, I need to know what I am getting myself into, twitter is a good way to do that." 

Dan snorted. "Just don't find my website from when I was twelve and we'll be good."

"You had a website?" Phil exclaimed. "You have to show me!" 

"No," Dan groaned, hiding his face in his hands. "I shouldn't have even mentioned it."

"Fine," Phil decided. "I'll have to get it out of you sooner or later. You picked the hard way." 

"What is that even supposed to mean?" Dan muttered, brows furrowing in confusion.

"Let's order some food!" Phil said, standing up and extending his arm towards Dan. "Also, I like your apartment a lot. I would prefer if we could stay here instead of my place. I just feel like it suits us better."

"Sure," Dan agreed, shrugged. "Whatever makes you more comfortable. Do you want to pick up some of your stuff later today?" Phil nodded, scanning the menus that Dan had stuck on his fridge. 

"Does Chinese sound okay to you?" Phil asked, picking up his phone and unlocking it. Dan nodded, pointing to where he circled his usual meal on the menu. Phil gave him a thumbs up as a lady picked up. 

*

Phil had decided to borrow clothes from Dan another day and night before finally heading back to his apartment to grab his clothes and everything else he needed. He also needed to water his house plants and take his smallest catus with him. 

Dan had asked him if he wanted him to go along, but Phil was fine with going by himself. He's positive that they could be use the hour and a half of separation from each other - no matter how well they were getting along. 

That was the thing - they were getting along super well. It was kind of weird how well they worked together. Phil hardly ever found himself annoyed at Dan in the past forty-eight hours of marriage. That could be considered strange. How many strangers do you spend two days with and not get super annoyed and pissed with? None? Phil couldn't remember a time in his life when that had ever happened. 

Another strange thing was how close he already considered himself to Dan. He didn't really think of him as a complete stranger anymore. He was more of an acquaintance Phil knows how quick he is to adapt to new situations - he's been on a book tour and all - but even this was a little out there for him. 

He obviously didn't know how Dan felt about him, but he could assume that he could assume that he didn't hate him. He hadn't forcefully removed him from his apartment or cussed him out yet - that had to be a good sign. Phil felt comfortable coming to the conclusion that Dan did not hate him at this moment. Of course, he was annoying and that could change.

He breathed in the cool London air, exhaling and watching the way the breath fogged before disappearing into nothing with the rest of the air. He was a human, who was living and making air. It was kind of crazy. He exhaled again, watching the breaths disappear into the air. He was alive. Why did he take it for granted so often? 

Phil eventually made him way to his apartment, unlocking the door and smelling the familiar and comforting scent of his apartment. As much as he enjoyed Dan's place, he missed his own home. 

He set his keys, phone, and wallet down on the counter, getting to work on packing up the much needed items. He could come back if he forgot something, but he wanted the full immersion experience. To get that experience he would have to stay away from his flat as much as possible. 

He really wanted things to work with Dan. 

*

Dan was having his me-time. It was something that he was used to having almost all the time that he was home. He rarely had anyone over and it's not like he lived with anyone - it was the perfect recipe for isolation and depressing thoughts. 

At the current moment, he was trying to figure out how he felt about Phil. They had spent the past two days - give or take a few hours - together and Dan hadn't wanted to die the whole time - which was pretty impressive if he did say so himself. 

Dan didn't hate people by any means, in fact he was a rather outgoing person and enjoyed the company of other humans. But like a normal person, he also enjoyed solitude. He hadn't had much solitude the past day or so, but he hadn't minded one bit. 

He laid on the couch on his back - legs crossed, arms laying by his side, and eyes closed. This was the best way for him to think. He had found the trick quite helpful when writing his novel and got stuck with world building or character development or trying to figure out exactly how hetero-normative he needed it to be so that it could still sell. He came to this couch and this thinking position when he needed the most relaxed form of thinking. And boy, was he thinking. 

He was outweighing the pros and cons of this whole marriage thing. As of that moment, there were so many pros and so many cons, and it didn't make sense. 

Dan is a pessimist. He's proud of the fact and he admits to it. He's a realistic person and due to how depressing the world is, he is a pessimist. It's just the way the cookie crumbles. It was alarming to Dan he hardly had any cons of Phil. Sure, he got annoying every now and then - and yes, the whole obsession with his cereal thing was a tad bit concerning - but really, why did Dan not want to slit his throat?

They had been in the same room at almost all times. If he tried to do that with his own mother he probably would've died right then and there, and he loves his mother. 

Dan thought and thought, trying to warn himself about getting too invested something to quickly, about how hurt he was going to get, how his heart was probably going to end up broken and scattered into a million pieces all over the ground. About how he should care about those things more. 

He hadn't ever felt something like that. 

It was terrifying. 

*

"Honey, I'm home!" Phil announced, carrying a small suitcase and a carry on through the door.

"You can't use that phrase, Barry B. Benson made it illegal for humans." Dan retorted in a dry voice from the couch. 

"Really?" Phil pouted, dropping his carry on onto the doorway of Dan's apartment. He then kicked off his shoes before traipsing over to where Dan laid half-asleep on the couch. Phil took one look at him before crawling onto the narrow couch with him. Dan's eyes shot open, alarmed, before realizing it was just Phil. He relaxed back into the couch, readjusting his arm so it became positioned on Phil's back. Phil hummed, head finding Dan's chest easily. Phil rested his head in the crook of Dan's shoulder, easily relaxing into Dan's arms. They cuddled well - clearly they were meant to fall in love. It was basically a sign from the universe. 

Phil kind of wanted to talk about moving in with Dan for the first month of their marriage. He figured that now would be as good of a time as ever - he might as well bring it up. 

"Hey, Dan," Phil prompted. "I was kind of thinking about where we should live for the trial month of our marriage." 

"'Trial month?'" Dan quoted, smiling a little. 

"I mean, that kind of is what we are doing," Phil reasoned. "You know, give us your credit card information and get a free 30-day trial. Decide if you like it or not." 

"So I'm Netflix to you?" Dan mused. Phil couldn't see his face but he was sure he was smirking. 

"I'm in love with Netflix, so that should be a compliment to you." Phil said, giggling a little as Dan himself broke down into giggles. 

"Now you're in love with me," Dan rolled his eyes. "What is the truth?"

"Don't pull that meme on me." Phil shot back. 

"Wow," Dan commented. "Mr. Sassy. Anyways, what about where we should live? We kind of got off topic."

"Oh!" Phil exclaimed, remembering why he wanted to talk in the first. "I was thinking of moving in with you." 

"We've known each other for two and a half days," Dan dead-panned. "Clingy." 

"We're married." Phil retorted. 

"Fair point," Dan said. "I guess you can move in." He fake sighed. 

"You're so mean to me." Phil said. 

"My mom was always insistent on telling my sister that boys were mean to her because they liked her." Dan said jokingly. 

"That's sexism and an odd way of telling me you like me." Phil responded. 

"Meh." Dan summed up, closing his eyes and pulling Phil closer. Phil hummed appreciatively. 

*

"We haven't slept in the same bed yet," Phil said out of the blue. The two of them had decided to return to their writing. They were both authors after all. Dan was sitting at one end of the couch, Phil at the other. They were both typing away on their respective laptops (they had matching ones?), equally dedicated to their own stories. "Isn't that kind of weird?" 

Dan shrugged. "You kept insisting on the couch and passing out because I could convince you to sleep with me. You're welcome."

"That sounds so weird," Phil comment, stopping his writing for a minute. "Like, 'You're welcome in my bed,' that sounds a little creepy, right?" 

"You don't have to drag me like this, Phil." Dan said, rolling his eyes. He continued to type, briefly stopping to edit something with his mouse-pad. Phil scooted closer to Dan, laptop abandoned on the cushion where he had just been sitting. 

"Are you being serious though?" Phil asked in a quiet voice. Dan looked away from his computer screen, looking over Phil. His eyes were staring at Dan's chest, something that Phil rarely did. Whenever he talked to you, he would always look directly at you, never anywhere else. Dan guessed that he was probably nervous, afraid to overstep his boundaries. Dan's eyes softened, his hand coming to rest on top of Phil's. 

"Of course," Dan said. He tried to make Phil much more trusting of him, he wanted him to know that he was being one hundred percent serious. "Want to take nap?" Phil looked up, eyes connecting with his and a small smile present on his face. 

"Sure." 

Dan picked-up his laptop and placed it on the coffee table. He clasped Phil's hand tighter and stood up, practically dragging Phil up with him. He started down the hall, Phil trailing after Dan. "I kind of feel like you're leading me away to have sex with you or something."

"That could be arranged." Dan said, looking back at Phil just in time to see his face flush red. 

"Maybe another time." Phil muttered, tightening his grip on his hand. Dan laughed, opening the door to his room. 

Dan let go of Phil's hand, walking to one side of the bed. Phil got the idea and walked to the other side, climbing into the bed and under the covers. Dan did the same, finding Phil's hand under the blankets. They both laid down, heads supported by soft pillows. The room was lit with a soft glow of sun from the late evening sky. Dan moved closer to Phil, his arm snaking around his waist and pulling his back to his chest. Dan closed his eyes, allowing sleep to over take his conscious. 

*

The next day Phil had awkwardly followed Dan to his room in the evening. Dan's eyes had lit up in amusement as he realized how nervous Phil still was. He climbed into the bed before kicking off his pants and waited for Phil to follow. 

"I can still sleep in here, right?" Dan laughed. 

"Of course you can, silly," Dan said as he pulled down the covers on the side where he wasn't laying, an open invite to Phil. "I won't bite." 

"Somehow I find that to be an untrue statement." Phil retorted as he got in and pulled the covers over his legs. Dan giggled, glad that Phil was warming up. He knew that they had spent the afternoon yesterday sleeping in the same bed but it still felt more like a special occasion than a normal thing to happen between them. Dan understood why Phil was hesitating and he was kind of glad he was on some level - Phil was so scared to possibly cross some boundary between the two of them. It was really sweet how much he respected Dan and didn't want to accidentally make him uncomfortable. 

"Okay, let me rephrase that," Dan clarified, relaxing into the pillow propped up against his headboard. He noticed Phil did the same thing. He smiled, glad that he was slowly becoming more comfortable. "At this moment I will not bite you." 

"That sounds more like the Dan I know." Phil claimed. Dan chuckled, glad that Phil had picked up on his personality in the short time that they had known each other. Dan settled on winking at him before asking Phil if he could turn the lamp off. After getting Phil's approval, he turned the light off and the room was plunged into darkness. The only light came from the moon outside that shone through the curtain. 

Dan felt Phil readjust so that he was laying down and followed, getting comfortable. 

"This may be weird, but could we maybe cuddle?" Phil spoke into the empty darkness. Dan smiled as his heart clenched in endearment for this man. How could someone be so grown yet so adorable? Dan was constantly baffled. 

"Sure." Dan said, not sure who should make the first move. He didn't have to wait long for Phil to come closer to him in the dark and settle next to him. He wouldn't really call it cuddling though, just laying close to each other. Dan could distantly remember doing this with his old best friend when he was in his preteens, suddenly realizing that they probably hadn't been as platonic as they though they had been. Dan pushed the thought out of his head and timidly tangled their legs together. He waited for Phil to stop him, but nothing came. Dan was aware that both of them had started to take more shallow breaths. 

Dan inched his head closer to the edge of his pillow, his torso becoming closer to Phil's through the action. Phil copied his movements. Soon, they were only inches apart. 

He kind of wanted to kiss Phil in that moment. They hadn't kissed since they got married and for some reason it didn't feel appropriate to do it at that moment. Dan vowed to himself that he would kiss Phil at the best possible moment that he could. Maybe it would be the one vow he wouldn't break that concerned Phil.  

*

A week had passed. They were nine days into this whole marriage thing and Phil would have to say that it was going really well. Because the both of them technically worked from him they spent their days either lounging around in Dan's apartment or at their favorite coffee shops with free wi-fi. They found that they made a wonderful cooking duo. They were both pretty bad at cooking but when they cooked together they balanced each other out - this resulted in semi-good meals. 

 

They hadn't snapped at each other yet. Of course, they had had their little arguments, but not a huge fight that ended in shouting and crying. Phil was surprised that they had gone this long without yelling. He only lasted a week of being in his dorm-mate's presence before breaking down and screaming at him. Yeah, that wasn't one of his proudest moments. 

Phil figured he should just continue to not worry about the whole not-fighting thing. Most couples worry about the opposite - really, he should be thankful. 

Phil looked up from the book he was reading to see that Dan was in the kitchen, his hips swaying to the music that Phil couldn't hear in his earbuds. Phil had found out this was something Dan regularly did. It was cute. Really cute, and it always put  a smile on Phil's face. The first time Phil caught Dan doing it was a few days ago. He had blushed but continued to do his little dance and mouth along to the lyrics only he could hear. Since then, Phil saw the display at least once a day. He had started to figure out that he would always do that when he got stuck with his novel. 

Phil started to smell something good coming from the kitchen. Only a minute or so later Dan brought him a bowl of popcorn. Phil smiled gratefully, popping one into his mouth. Dan walked back to his table, sitting down at his laptop and glaring at the screen. Dan's creative process was always something interesting to watch. First, he would glare at his computer. His eyes would get all squinty and he would just stare down the screen like it had just committed murder or something equally terrible. Then he would huff really loudly and do something on his phone, usually check his twitter or tumblr feed (Phil had found out that those were his personal favorites). After he was done scrolling to his heart's content his eyes would return to the computer, glaring once more. He would hesitantly type a few words and then hit the backspace key with anger and an glare. Once he deleted enough of his writing he would swiftly stand up, put in his earbuds, and clean. Yes, Dan Howell was a stress cleaner. 

Phil had never seen anything like it. The man would wipe every surface down twice and scrub until the sponge was gone. It really explained why the place was so clean - Dan was in his element when everything around him was as pristine as could be. Phil thought it was amusing to watch. 

As soon as everything was clean in their - his - apartment, Dan would sit down and attempt to write yet again. He would get as far as a paragraph or two in before he would once again sigh and stand up. This time though, he would mouth along to lyrics and make food, his hips going back and forth as he spread Nutella on a piece of bread. Phil loved it. 

And that's what Phil was doing now - eating popcorn and reading, occasionally peeking over the top of his book pages to watch Dan come up with the next best-selling book. 

It was kind of a behind-the-scenes experience that he hadn't ever seen before. 

*

The sun shining and Dan was groaning as the alarm clock went off for the fifth time that morning. He could kind of hear Phil whining in the background as well. Dan slammed his hand on the top of the offending object hoping to shut it off. It finally did and he turned on his side, humming contently as the room was replaced with quiet. He subconsciously reached for Phil's torso, latching his arm around his waist and pulling him closer. Phil sighed in his sleep, his arms finding a place by Dan's waist as well. Dan didn't want to move, even though he knew the alarm would go off again in less than five minutes. Plus, they did have some place to be for once. Louise was having a birthday lunch and insisted that Dan bring his husband for brunch so they could get to know each other better. Phil had enthusiastically agreed and they made arrangements for Saturday at ten o'clock. It was Saturday, nine o'clock. They really needed to get a move on. Dan dealt with the procrastination by pulling his husband closer, burying his head into the pillow. 

Dan liked marriage. It suited him and he suited it. Or maybe him and Phil just worked really well together. It was easier for Dan to write with Phil around, it was easier for him to sleep and it was easier to smile with him in the house. Dan enjoyed all those benefits. 

The only problem was a thought in the back of his head that wouldn't go away. What would happen when the month was over? Sure, they got along well and Dan enjoyed Phil's company and vice versa, but the foundations of a strong marriage certainly didn't last on liking each other. Maybe Dan just needed to have more blind faith in his life but he never did well in that area, just ask his severely religious grandmother. He had just always been a logical person - not a pessimist - a person who didn't overlook the negativity that was present in the world. It wasn't really a flaw but it wasn't a blessing either. 

The blaring sounds of the clock rang through their apartment. Wait, their? Since when had his apartment become Phil's too? His thoughts were interrupted by Phil angrily sitting up and glaring at the offending machine. Dan laughed softly, taking notice of how Phil was now sitting on him, it was basically straddling. He used this to his advantage as he reached over to turn on the alarm for the sixth time. He reclined further into the bed, Phil as well. Dan saw a lazy smile on his lips as he sunk onto his chest. He rested his head in the crook of his shoulder - Dan had realized that this was his go to position - arms tucked between their chests. Dan's hand found their way to Phil's back, stroking circles on top on the fabric of his shirt. 

Ever since the cuddled on the first night that they properly spent together touching had became a lot more easy between the time of them. Dan had discovered that Phil was naturally a very physically affectionate person, which essentially meant that he was really cuddly. Dan liked it. 

They laid there until the clock made its presence known yet again. Phil groaned into Dan's neck before pulling back and sitting up, rubbing the sleep away from his eyes. Dan's hands moved to play with the hem of his shirt. Phil smiled down at him, playing with his hair for a second before clambering off of Dan and turning the alarm off for good. 

"You should leave your hair curly today, I like it." Phil said as he was stretching. His voice was scratchy with sleep and hoarse. Dan decided that he was obsessed with it. 

"Fine," Dan decided. "But you have to wear your glasses." The first moment that Dan had seen Phil with glasses he concluded that he fell slightly more for him. Ever since then he had begged, tricked, and bribed Phil to wear his glasses during the day. He was resistant to all attempts of bribes and saw right through the tricks, even ignoring Dan's pleads for the glasses. Dan was smug with victory as he climbed out of bed. Of course, he had realized that Phil was just doing it to mess with Dan, but he didn't care at that point. As far as he was concerned, he had won. 

*

Forty-five minutes later had Dan and Phil scrambling out of the apartment building and to the nearest bus stop to meet Louise for lunch. Phil was wearing his favorite button down and skinny jeans. Dan was wearing an all-black ensemble, complete with a black coat. Phil figured that he was probably trying to make a statement of some sort. He had realized that most of the things that Dan did tended to be because he wanted to rebel against society in some small way. He tended to be dramatic to the point that it just amused Phil. At least he cared enough to be extremely passionate about so many movements. 

They quickly hailed a taxi and clambered into it. As of that moment, they were officially late. Dan assured him that Louise would understand and was probably running late as well. That helped calmed him down just the tiniest bit - he was nervous. He had already met Louise and she was incredibly kind and seemed like a person he would easily get along with, he was just afraid that she wouldn't like him as a person. He was quirky and a little all over the place - many described him as childish. While this was usually good, sometimes it would backfire all over the place. He really didn't want it to backfire. 

The cab pulled up to where they were going to met Louise. Dan quickly paid the driver and then came to stand behind Dan, placing a hand above his hip. Phil easily leaned in closer to him for a split second before they entered into the small diner. They spotted Louise fairly quickly and moved to sit down at her table. 

"Ah, it's my best friend and his husband!" She said excitedly, clapping her hands. Her hair was pulled back in a braid and her make-up was expertly done. Her outfit consisted of jeans and a soft purple top. It was simple but still worked well for her. "It's so good to see you two." 

"I've missed you, too," Dan said, smiling. "Sorry I haven't picked up that many shifts lately, this guy-" he sticks a thumb in Phil's direction "- has been keeping me at home." 

"Don't blame me for your laziness, that's not healthy." He responded. Louise laughed, taking a sip of coffee. 

"By the way, I got you both coffee, I hope that's okay?" She directed the question at Phil who eagerly nodded. 

"He lives on coffee, it's concerning," Dan said as Phil drank from his mug. "I'll wake up and he will just be in the kitchen with his face hovering above the mug as he waits for it to cool down. It's the weirdest thing."

"Okay, I like how warm the steam is from the mug. It calms me," Phil said, defending his honor. "You can't blame me for liking artificial warmth. You should try it sometime." Louise just looked amused as she glanced between the two of them. 

"Try what, artificial warmth or sticking a cup of coffee under my face in a desperate attempt to feel loved?" Dan voiced. 

"Both." Phil deadpanned, finally giving in and chuckling. Dan and Louise soon joined in. 

*

The brunch lasted for about an hour or so. It ended when Louise had to leave to get ready for her official birthday party. Since neither of them were huge into social parties and Dan only knew half of Louise's friends (at best) they had decided not to go, hence the brunch. 

Dan felt like it had gone well - Louise clearly liked Phil and it seemed that Phil felt the same. It was refreshing for Dan to know that his husband and best friend liked each other. 

They were walking back from the restaurant, both equally lost in thought. Dan was daydreaming about a fight scene that he wanted to add into his newest book and Phil was probably thinking about puppies or something along those likes. Dan didn't realize how wrong he had been about the assumption until Phil spoke. 

"I still haven't told my mom yet, you know, about us." Phil said, eyes focused on something in the distance. He was kind of spaced out. It felt like a spaced-out type of day. 

"Should we call her?" Dan asked. He only realized after he said the sentence that he automatically assumed they would be doing it together. That was good on some level, right?

Phil shrugged, his hand bumping into Dan's. Dan took a hold of his hand, clasping it gently and swinging it back and forth between them. He like how easy things were with Phil. They just kind of let things take their course when it came to their relationship, and it kind of worked. Granted, they haven't had sex yet which was probably a fail in some peoples' books but oh well, it was working for the time being. He didn't want to rush into it and ruin things. That was probably the last thing he wanted to do. 

"Do you think we could have them over for dinner?" Phil asked quietly, breaking the silence Dan had gotten them into. Dan nodded, squeezing his hand. 

They arrived back at the apartment building. Not his apartment building, not their apartment building, just the apartment building. He didn't want to include or segregate Phil too heavily from his life on purpose. He just wanted the apartment to be both of theirs while not being too confining at the same time. Sometimes, Dan thought a little bit too much for his own good. It was always helpful in English class though. 

When they got to the flat Dan busied himself in the kitchen by tidying things up and Phil texted his mom, inviting her and his dad to dinner sometime in the next week. They were writers so they had a flexible schedule, something people often confused with doing nothing during the day. They did do stuff, it was called staring at a computer screen and hoping words come out. It was kind of aggravating, to be honest.  

"My mom said that her and dad can come on Monday night, would that work? They think you're just a friend, by the way. I'm going to break the news to them slowly." Phil leaned against the counter-top, typing on his phone. 

"Yeah, that should work. What time?" Dan moved to stand next to Phil, bumping shoulders with him. 

"Six-ish?" 

"Mkay," Dan decided. "Now scoot, I have yet to clean that counter-top and I will not let you stand in my way." Phil laughed, moving to the other side of the kitchen. 

*

Monday night came quicker than anticipated and both of the boys rushed to get the flat as clean as possible. Dan, of course, did most of the cleaning but Phil had helped. Dan insisted on making a chicken and pasta dish and Phil allowed him to, knowing that his parents would love it. It was kind of cute to see Dan fussing over little details, he was so intent on making sure that they his parents would like him. It was endearing. 

Phil was still trying to figure out how to break the news to them. He probably wouldn't be proud of his kid running off and marrying a random person they met. But he still had made life choices and all actions have equal and opposite reactions. He was just dealing with it. 

He couldn't get too caught up in his thoughts because just then, the doorbell rang. He quickly yelled "I'll get it!" before rushing down the stairs and flinging open the door. There stood his parents, the people that had supported him through almost everything, save for the emo phase he had back when he was 15 or so. 

"Mom, Dad! I'm so glad to see you!" He exclaimed, quickly pulling them into the warm atmosphere of Dan's flat, but also kind of his flat. 

As he pulled them in, he finally took notice of the other couple standing behind them. His brother and wife. Phil stiffened slightly. He loved his brother, really, but he used to relentlessly tease Phil about his sexuality and almost anything he did, which got really annoying really quickly. He wouldn't go as far to say that all of Martyn's teasing led him to repressing a lot of his character for so long, but he was defiantly a factor in Phil taking so long to realize his whole personality. He moved out for college and had finally allowed himself to be who he wanted to be - it was really eye-opening. 

It wasn't that Phil didn't want his brother here - he was just worried about how everything would play out. He absentmindedly rubbed at his temples at the thought of how dinner might progress. 

"Dan, my family is here," He said, giving Dan a brief warning before his family followed him into the now-smaller kitchen. "My brother and his wife also came, do we have enough food?" If Phil was a stranger, he wouldn't have been able to see the disguised shock that slowly made its way across Dan's face. He was still very composed, but Phil could see through it. 

"I think we should have enough." Dan decided, stirring the pot once again. Phil decided to believe and not to stress about something he didn't have any control. He quickly showed his parents, brother, and sister-in-law to the table where the would be eating. He disappeared back into the kitchen, leaning closely to him but not touching him. He was aware that his family could still see them and he didn't want to freak them out five minutes into dinner. 

Dan scooped food onto plates while Phil carried them to the table, placing in front of his family members. Once there was a plate for everyone and they had both sat down, they started dinner, officially. 

"Phil, isn't that your laptop?" Martyn said, not even five minutes after they started eating. "Why are we meeting at this guy's house anyway, no offense to you, but we usually meet at your apartment, not at your friend's." 

Phil placed his fork on the table, realizing he might have to tell them sooner rather than later. "One, that guy's name is Dan," Dan waved. "Two, we're actually living together right now." 

"Did something happen to your apartment?" His mother asked in a worried tone. 

"No," Phil answered. "We just like living together. We don't know if it's permanent yet." 

"Phil, I only see one door down that hallway and I know for a fact that the bathroom is by the front door," His mom responded. She raised an eyebrow at him. "Plus, Dan's married, how does that even work?" 

Dan's eyes widened as he quickly looked to his ring finger. Phil followed his gaze, noticing the ring on his finger. "Shit." He said quietly, still looking at his finger. Phil's hand that would have his ring was under the table. He rubbed his thumb across his ring finer noticing that yes, he had forgotten to take his ring off as well. Phil placed his hand with the ring on the table, watching as his dad took notice of it. 

"Son, that looks a lot like-"

"We got married," Phil confessed. "We sleep in the same room, to answer your implication, mom." 

"Why didn't you tell us? How long have you seeing each other?"

"We've known of each other for almost a month." 

"Dude!" Martyn exclaimed, his face showing his amused shock. "You can't be serious." Phil nodded and intertwined his and Dan's hands, where everyone could see.

Cornelia - his sister-in-law - spoke up. "I think it's sweet in a way. You clearly don't know each other super well, it's a way to fall in love with someone in a different way."

"Thanks." Dan said, breaking his silence on the subject of their marriage. His mom and dad still hadn't said anything, leaving him to wonder what their thoughts were. 

"Well, Dan is very nice. If this is something you want to do, then who am I to hold you back from it?" His mom said. His dad nodded in agreement and Phil allowed himself to relax slightly in his chair. "Well, should we eat?" Everyone laughed in some way and dug into their delicious meal. 

*

"And so ever since that day I have been horrified of electrical outlets. Ever since Phil moved in I've just had him plug in all my stuff."

His mom was giggling, his dad had a smile on his face, and the rest of the group were all laughing. Dan knew how to tell stories, especially about his childhood. He was really winning Phil's family over, they basically loved him. Now he just needed to fall in complete love with him (which he was already doing) and Dan do the same. Life seemed simple, fall in love with someone and have them fall in love with you back. He knew it was harder than it that, but he liked to live in a world where it was that simple. If you pretended something was simple, was it not simple on some level?

Dan was sitting with his legs folded under a blanket on the couch. His hair was starting to curl, which only was a style he wore when he was stressed or at the end of the day. His cheeks were slightly rosy from having the main focus on him and laughing. Phil liked giddy, giggly Dan. He was adorable on a whole new level.

Phil snuck another look in Dan's direction, catching his eye. Dan smiled at him and Phil didn't hesitate to smile widely back. 

*

Dan woke up to the smell of something burning, which is never something good to wake up. After sitting straight up in bed and assessing that no, his apartment was not on fire, he regretfully crawled out of bed. He noticed Phil's absence in bed, something that was as rare as the slight burning smell. 

Dan stumbled down the short hallway and into the kitchen where he found Phil behind the tall counter that separated the kitchen from the lounge. He was wearing the infamous apron again and from the looks of it, he was trying to make pancakes. His face brightened considerably when he saw Dan, not that Dan knew why. He probably looked like he just got run over by a truck. A big, large, truck. He hadn't been sleeping too well lately and it clearly reflected on his appearance. 

"Happy National Pancake Day!" Phil said happily, trying to flip a pancake. He succeeded, surprising both himself and Dan. 

"I didn't realize you were one of those dorks that celebrated unofficial holidays." Dan said with amused smile on his face. 

"Okay, one, I'm a dork so you should have just assumed," Phil started. "Two, everyone celebrates pancake day. It's pancakes." He said it like it was obvious that everyone and their mom and their grandmother celebrated the day. 

"So I should have assumed, that's fair. How do we celebrate such an amazing day, then?" Dan rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and totally missed the way that Phil had softened while looking at him. 

"First, we eat as many pancakes as we possibly can. We have to feel like we're about to explode before we can stop," Dan snorted slightly, shaking his head at Phil's theatrics. "Then, we lie around and possibly write more in our books for the rest of the day." 

"Agh, Phil, that's not fair. You know I have writer's block right now." Dan complained. 

"I'll help you through it, don't worry. We have to be productive, it's pancake day." 

"How on earth does pancake day relate to being productive? I would've thought it would be the opposite." Dan argued. 

"They both start with P, duh." Phil poured another pancake into the pan after placing one in front of Dan. 

"Forgive me, oh smart one," Dan said sarcastically. "I didn't realize that two things starting with the same letter meant that they were automatically related." Phil giggled, amused at how fast he seemed to get Dan riled up after something so simple. Dan dropped his facade and started giggling along too. Soon, the two of them were laughing at the silly conversation. 

Pancake morning ended covered in syrup and giggles ringing through the apartment as they tried to clean up the sticky substance off every surface. Dan had no clue how it had gotten everywhere, but it had. 

The afternoon was spent in bed, laptops slightly burning skin as they both worked hard on their novels. It was nice being married to someone who understood the creative process of writing. It made things a ton easier when he needed to write. Phil got it, and he usually joined him when he could. 

With stomachs stuffed and laughs flowing easy, Dan finally beat his writer's block and wrote one of the best chapters in the book. 

*

It was almost the end of the third week, which meant it had almost been a month since they got married. Life was easy and simple but never plain. Phil could feel himself falling in love with Dan, he knew it. He could only hope that Dan felt the same way.  

He knew that at some point they would have to sit down and talk about what they wanted to do. Phil was all for stay married, and probably for continuing to live together. He hadn't really discussed it with Dan, he didn't know what he wanted. 

Dan was supposedly on a walk, which Phil didn't believe for a second, so he quickly texted him, asking if they could talk over dinner tonight. Dan suggested going out to eat at a place where they wouldn't have to reserve a table. Phil agreed and returned to cleaning the kitchen, something that always made Dan super happy to come home to. 

A few hours later, they were both climbing into a uber. Dan was looking good - when didn't he? - but he look especially good right now. Phil was constantly amazed by how effortlessly beautiful Dan was. He was kind of in awe of it. 

They arrived, Phil held the door open for Dan, which made him blush. It was cute. They were led to a table and sat down. He figured they should talk about whether or not they wanted to stay married or not. Phil was leaning towards staying married. He could see them being happy and maybe starting a family later in life, a subject that they hadn't really talked about too much. 

"Thanks for agreeing to have to dinner with me tonight." Phil said, catching Dan's attention. He had been staring off into the distance, something he would usually do without noticing. 

"Now I feel like we're on a reality TV show, more than usual." Dan commented, making Phil chuckle. 

They ordered and got their drinks and now they had probably fifteen to twenty minutes until they were interrupted. Phil figured that it would be a quick discussion, they both seemed pretty happy with where the relationship was going, why should they break-up? 

"So, I figured we could talk about what to do about our marital status. Do you want to get a divorce or not?" Phil asked, feeling kind of nervous. What would happen if Dan didn't agree? Sure, it probably would be the end of the world but Phil would definitely be upset. 

"Sure," Dan replied. "What do you think we should do?" Phil saw what he was trying to do. He wasn't going to admit what he wanted - he didn't want to accidentally pressure Dan into agreeing with him. As much as Dan was a loud and opinionated person, he was also a very polite person who really cared about how his actions affected other people. Phil knew that whatever he said would have an effect on what Dan said. 

"I asked the question, you answer it," Phil said, trying to make it not sound like he was ordering Dan to do something. Thankfully, he was successful. 

"I don't know, honestly," Maybe Phil should have said something. Dan might have made up his mind and they could stay married. "I see a lot of positives and negatives." 

"Like?" Phil urged him to continue. 

"Like you're a great person and I really enjoy spending time with you, Phil. I do have feelings for you, like a lot of feelings, but we've only known each other for a month." Phil figured that was fair. They had only known each other for a month. He would love to trick himself into believing that that was a long enough time to make the decision. 

"How about we wait? Give it another two weeks?" Phil suggested warmly, staring at Dan across the table. 

"Yeah, I don't want to divorce you quite yet." Dan teased, smiling at Phil. 

"Give it another month, you just might change your opinion." Phil said. Dan laughed, cheeks flushing as the night went on. Phil felt warm. 

*

The next morning turned into afternoon and then into evening. Phil worked progressively on his novel while Dan  kept him company by watching Netflix on his laptop in bed with him. He claimed "that any person that works on a novel for most of the day without another person doing shit with them will go insane." So Phil let Dan watch most of a season of Doctor Who with him. 

It was relaxing and easy and Phil loved it. If he was Dan he would claim it was his aesthetic. Laying in bed with him for almost the entire bed while they lazily did things things they enjoyed with each other made him really happy. He hoped it wouldn't come to an end. 

They lived with each other so easily and Phil could feel himself falling for Dan. He never felt this strongly for anyone, especially this quickly in the relationship. 

*

"Let's go shopping." Dan said as he crawled into the bed where Phil was still (slowly) waking up. Something he loved to do was crawl into bed with Phil. Ever since they started to share a bed regularly he found himself cuddling with Phil as he woke up. He usually laid in bed for fifteen minutes or so longer than Dan did. He would turn on the coffee machine and then sneak back into bed, it was a routine well practiced and enjoyed by the both of them. 

"Why do you want to go shopping on today of all days? It's a rainy Monday morning." Phil replied, readjusting so that Dan could spoon him better. 

"I dunno. Figured it would be nice. Give us something to do on a rainy Monday morning." Dan said. 

"Okay, let me get dressed." 

He did just that and soon enough they were in a Uber, heading to the mall. Dan wasn't sure exactly what they were going to do or buy, but he figured it was better than just doing what they had been doing the past few days - working. 

They got out of the car, holding hands, and walked into the building. "We should go to Nike to get some clothes to work out in." Phil said. Dan snorted, shaking his head. 

"Yeah, 'cause we're that couple." He added on. 

"The super fit ones." 

"Clearly, look at us." 

*

The mall was fun, they walked around and Phil found a bank that ate the money, something that slightly horrified Dan and highly amused Phil. He bought one and then they went to lunch. It was about two in the afternoon and they were just arriving back to their apartment. 

"Let's make cookies." Dan suggested, already pulling out the necessary ingredients for the recipe. 

"I'm not against making cookies but I feel like something is going on," Phil said, pulling out a bowl. "Is there anything that is worrying you or something?" Truth be told, there was. Dan was falling for Phil but he had thought a lot about it, why pretend that they were going to be together forever when they probably weren't? Yes, they had feelings and yes, those feelings were strong, but wouldn't it all quit after a while? Romance always goes away in one way or another, whether it be cheating, divorce, or death, love never wins. What was the point in pretending that it will last? Dan couldn't see one. It would be easier to just end things now, before he got too hurt and Phil got too involved. 

 

"Can we sit?" Dan asked, gesturing towards the bar-stools positioned at the counter. "Now that you say that, I do have something I want to talk to you about."

"Uh, sure." Phil replied, moving over to the bar and pulling out a stool for Dan before sitting down himself. 

Dan tried to compose and synthesize his thoughts into one eloquent thought. He needed to say this is the most respectful and caring way possible, he was just trying to figure out how to do that. "I'm not sure I want to stay married," After seeing the look of alarm on Phil's face, he quickly rushed to finish his thought. "I don't want a divorce either! I just don't know if love is right for me." 

"What do you mean by that?" Phil asked, clearly confused. Dan sighed.

"Have you ever thought about how hopeless love is?" He questioned, knowing Phil probably hadn't. "We live our whole lives searching for true love, we find it once, but it still ends up disappearing in one way or another. Death rips lovers apart, cheating ruins couples, and falling out of love isn't too uncommon. What's the point in pretending neither of us will get hurt?" 

"Are you trying to say you don't have feelings for me any more? Because if so, it's okay." Phil said, looking distressed. He clearly was trying to figure out why Dan was having such a major freak-out. 

"No, that's the point! I do, I totally do! I think I might be in love with you! But all love ends, you know? We can't do anything about it?" 

"So, who cares? Death is inevitable but we still live. The whole point is that we're alive in this moment," Phil said, holding eye contact with Dan, his eyes staring him down. "That's the whole point of life, we do things because of how they feel." 

Dan couldn't hold it anymore, he surged forward, connecting his lips with Phil's. Phil caught his waist as he slipped off his chair, Phil was barely taller than him now, using this to his advantage. Dan deepened the kiss and Phil happily obliged. 

Phil stood from the chair, his hands wrapping around Dan's waist tighter as his lips left Dan's and started to mouth down his neck. Dan tilted his head back, allowing Phil more access to his neck. His hands came to rest on Phil's shoulders, his hands clenching his shirt tightly. Phil realized how worked up this was making Dan and started to suck on his neck, successfully making a small noise of pleasure come from Dan's mouth. He slid his eyes shut, one of his hands coming to rest in Phil's hair.

"Phil, Phil," He breathed, cheeks flush. "Don't start something you can't finish." 

"Bedroom?" He asked with a glint in his eye. 

*

Needless to say, Dan changed his mind about the divorce after that night. Phil was completely right, why deprive himself of falling in love, especially with someone who loved him back. 

It had been a year, an eventful one. Phil had sold his apartment and officially moved in Dan about a month after they decided to stay married. Dan's book was set to release in a month, Phil's had been released a few weeks ago. Apparently the best way to get rid of writer's block was sex. Crazy concept. 

They ended up getting a dog, who was loved and adored. They named her Piper. Dan doesn't really know why they decided on that name. It just kind of suits her. 

Phil had brought up the subject of adoption a while ago and Dan had finally seen his side and agreed. They visited a local agency together and started filling out paperwork. Because they are planning to add to their family, they need to add to their place. Phil was currently looking at homes this very second. 

Dan smiled warmly in his direction, finishing the order of pizza. Once he hung up on the delivery guy he walked towards Phil, deciding to sit directly next to him on the couch. Resting his head on his shoulder, Dan closed his eyes. 

"What about this one? It has a pool, too!" Phil said. "It has 3 bedrooms and almost everything on our wishlist." 

"It sounds perfect, babe."


End file.
